Thursday, January 29, 2009

Can You Get Herpes On Your Arm

Brothers: the advantage of growing together


Women often happens to us that pregnant a second time, we feel and fear that we can not love an "other" as deeply as we love our son was born. Such is the power of love, the experience completely new since we've become mothers, we believe that such an intense will be unique. However, the heart of a mother is not divided, but multiplies with each child born. This is checked only when the second child was born and love is installed with the natural and waste of yesteryear. Once we have verified that there is no danger, we can love two children, then three or four ... move that fear in our own children: we assume that "they" can not love another. And that the presence of a sibling, will necessarily be detrimental to not know exactly why, but that will be experienced as a negative for them.

From then on, any attitude bothers the child, any tantrum, crying, sickness, moodiness, anger, dissatisfaction or concern, we interpret from the point of view of pain or discomfort allegedly caused his brother. However, we know internally that there is nothing more wonderful than the birth of a brother who is more even, closer, more "brothers" who will have throughout life. And if parents decide to have more children to love, it makes sense to share that view with our children already born to broaden and expand our field of love.

The brotherhood as concrete experience can be one of the most extraordinary experiences for a human being. But having siblings is no guarantee that those bonds of love and emotional closeness are installed. Even positively or negatively influence with little difference in age between them, or many, who are of the same sex or sharing a room. The brotherhood in its deeper meaning may develop as long as parents are able to meet the needs of each other without label, without locking up every child in a particular character, regardless of whether one is good and bad, smart and a dumb one, a fast and another slow. These seemingly innocent statements that adults perpetuate for raising children, inadvertently used to ensure a static role for everyone. When a child understands that as his parents are smart, or responsible or distracted or aggressive or terrible, try to assume this role to perfection. Ie it is the most terrible of all or most courageous of all. Usually each sibling will be assigned a character to represent the mode away from its own essential being and the essential being of each of his brothers.

Therefore, it is up to parents to be vigilant and observe cleanly, rather than subjectively interpret what we think are each of them from our perspective. If we insist on naming time and again that this is obsessive, the other is sick or the last one is happy, only succeed in causing rift between the brothers, as they will be too different from each other. However, if we want to help them install the guild will need to listen and understand each child. Then we can translate in simple terms what we understood about of them, bringing those thoughts to the rest of our children. That way each child will work to incorporate other points of view, other experiences and other records and can then love their brothers because he has understood.

The brotherhood is installed between the siblings if the parents work for it. The Brotherhood arises from the emotional closeness, affection, the desire to help sustain, support and nurture. The brotherhood is built from the day a child is born if the brothers are known for the newborn essential. Older children will be able to divert his interests toward the small, only if their basic needs for protection, care and look have been met. If love runs in the family, each new member is a blessing, regardless of the difference in age or family circumstances in which the apparition of the child. Our children will learn to love their brothers if we include them in the same circuit of love and joy. If we show happiness by the new presence, if we all participate in caring for the younger child, if we respond in turn to the demands and needs of older children and especially, if these older children are accustomed to being watched and listened genuinely parents. That is, the virtues of brotherhood can be deployed within a family if each child before feel loved, important in the eyes of their parents and special.

By contrast, if children perceive suffering, loneliness, apathy, or emotional neglect, the newborn baby fails to grow in their brothers empathy or caring. No child will be emotionally able to feed a hungry brother if you care, though much higher in relation to small or because their parents demand it. Is not worth theorizing about good or lecture about what is right to do, since each child will naturally assume love for the brothers, only if you really feel that love abounds around. And in all cases, we are Parents who have the responsibility of loving nutrition.

Love the brothers is not a minor issue. When we are blessed to live the experience of brotherhood within the house, then we can move it to other human bonds and feel that almost anyone can become a soul brother. And if our brother's soul will not hesitate to give his life for him. This outpouring of love and generosity will spring from our hearts if we have learned in the simplicity of childhood. Laura Gutman

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